Lula 3D

The Lula 3D box displays a picture of the titular heroine perched atop satin sheets wearing a bikini and stockings, along with an assurance that the game features "Bouncin' Boobs Technology". In other words, it informs you exactly what type of game it is before you've even opened said box - an "erotic" adventure aimed squarely at 12 year old boys.

The problem is that the box doesn't also tell you that Lula 3D looks and plays like it was developed by a 12 year old boy, on a 12 year old PC, at least 12 years ago. Nor does it warn that every minute spent attempting to play the game will make you feel like you've just lost 12 years of your life, and leave you wishing that you had some kind of mind bulimia so you could sick it all up and start again.

Lula, for those who aren't familiar, first made her appearance back in 1998 in a game called Lula: The Sexy Empire. A sequel, brilliantly titled Wet Attack: The Empire Cums Back, was released a year later and a variety of spin-offs followed, including Lula Flipper (a pinball game that's nothing to do with dolphin sex, disappointingly).

Now the blonde bombshell is back, sporting even less clothes and looking more like Pete Burns than ever. Lula now produces her own porn films, apparently, and the game beg.

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